In the same way that punters rush
out at the last minute to buy totally unnecessary presents so do patients go to
the NHS for totally unnecessary consultations the just in case something
happens over the 4 day Christmas holiday when the NHS is totally shut down and
there is no healthcare provided anywhere in the United Kingdom as Jeremy truly
believes.
So from Monday the 21st
until the 23rd the free at the point of abuse it is an emergency I
need to be be seen now wasters have been demanding emergency appointments. But
for some reason on Christmas Eve despite ND Central fielding a full team
providing only book on the day appointments most were empty. Could it be that
no one was ill or could it be that patients had better things to do than waste
NHS time like buy gallons of alcohol and stock up on lard rich food to consume
all at once over the next few days of the Christmas healthcare siege?
Christmas Day may be quiet but
the deluge will come in the subsequent days.
So here is a guide to where to
get urgent healthcare over the holiday period for those like Jeremy who believe
the NHS will be shut all hours.
The Party would ideally like you
to “consult” a pharmacist because there is an apparent glut of these. They have
no medical training but regard themselves as “clinical” and it is claimed that
they will be able to advise and treat you if you believe Party propaganda. We
believe they have a 50/50 chance of getting a correct diagnosis but they can always
sell you a bottle of totally useless cough medicine for a chesty or mucus cough
whatever that means at a price which will profit them but do nothing for you.
The Party would encourage you to ring NHS 111,
or NHS dumb, dumb,dumb as some would call them, which is again like “tossing” a
political coin based on the reports we get back form them. The vast majority of
these reports give only 2 outcomes which are see a GP within a randomly generated number of hours or we will send an urgent ambulance.
You used to be able to ring your
surgery and then would be put through to an out of hours GP deputizing service
but this was replaced by NHS dumb, dumb, dumb call handlers with 6 weeks of
training and a computer algorithm which in 20 minutes on the phone can come up
with the wrong diagnosis slower than a GP can get the right one in a 2 minute
consult.
In some areas there will be GP
out of hours’ services operating from centers which if it is not an emergency
would be the preferred place to go for non life threatening conditions. These
would be staffed by GPs who can issue prescriptions for real medicine not snake
oil.
The last option should be A&E
which should be just for emergencies examples being heart attacks, meningitis,
strokes, appendicitis but socialized education in the UK means that A&E is
nothing more than general practice with x-ray and best of all free
prescriptions if needed in contrast to general practice where 10% of those who
live in England would have to pay.
So while the Party may believe in
the NHS market the great British public will use the true market forces of what
can I get NOW and for FREE and just as they do when asked if their condition is
an emergency they will lie and decree that anything they have is an emergency
so you can guess where most people will end up.
We wrote this on Christmas Eve at
the infamous Café Michelle pre Christmas going home resistance meeting (after 18.30hrs comrade NHS commissar managers when you would have been home for 6.5 hours) and decided not
to post it but look at what the BBC have put as one of their lead stories on Boxing Day.
It is nice to know that those in
charge leave it until Boxing Day to inform the masses about what to do for
healthcare during a holiday. It is amazing that they also realize that the
first working day back will be busy something that GPs especially those who
will be on call have known for years.
Praise be to the Party for
ensuring that whenever there is a crisis the advanced planning by the thick who
know nothing always means that the patients always get through to free
healthcare even if it is not needed for while it is free there
is no need not to use, or not to abuse it, whatever, whenever.
Après les vacances le déluge, quelle surprise!
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