Saturday, 20 October 2012

The team got a certificate.

Several members of the team recently went to a meeting.

We were told that as part of the Party's institutionalized retardation of healthcare via the likes of QOF, CQC, GMC appraisal, revalidation and other limp organs we had to go to this meeting.

Or else.

Our sexual organs would shrivel and die and we would all become lepers, hunchbacks and outcasts in our communities for we would know nothing if we did not go.

So we went.

We got a certificate but that certificate does not compare with the teams' one maffs CSE certificate or the knowledge actually gained by its one recipient, which is useful to all of us.

The session was about an issue of concern to many who work at ND Central and was about child protection which we have posted many times previously about.

It was a complete waste of time for all the issues were those that we had covered at grunt school and in junior doctor jobs decades ago in the first world and in far more detail than was presented to us as an "update".

The "lessons" namely lack of communication were unchanged. We know that. The managers still do not know these lessons for they single handedly and with a single Party sponsored purpose have made communication regarding child protection more and more difficult and continue to do so.

The "lessons" we have learnt recently from the retards from various retarded institutions like CQC and OFSTED are that there was no communication between professionals. The information was there but was not shared so their recommendations are therefore what?

That computer should talk onto computer in order to facilitate communication and prevent child harm or death. DoH?

You cannot interrogate a computer. You cannot force a computer programmed in one language to share information with another programmed in a language alien to it. The information will sit on individual hard drives in the same way that it sits with the individual Police officers (impossible to access), individual social workers (impossible to access) and many others teachers, hospitals, churches etc. (impossible to access) you care to mention because of data, not child, protection et al and will continue to do so.
Remember protection of animals via legislation predated by 77 years legal protection of children and property be it physical or intellectual still does. Whether a computer talks to another computer will make not one iota of difference other than to a retards' tick box ticked collection.
The issues are still the same. It is the need to talk and share information that is needed and this is currently denied and made increasingly harder especially by recommendations made by morons.
The need to share the information that we already have.
The retards who compile these reports are probably of a similar age to us but will have never programmed a computer, probably never dealt with child protection as they are all "fine" administrators who sit in "fine" offices where the victims of child abuse much less the perpetrators of this abuse would never be allowed in for they would dirty the interior of their "fine" offices.
In their pits of silage working they have realized that communication is the key and it will single handily sort all child protection problems and the war will be over by Christmas by a simple edict from on high about computers.
It is communication between grunts on the ground who can ask questions and draw conclusions not swap files between floppy discs (sorry retarded comrades in NHS computing we meant SSDs). And have any of these fine administrators helped us with this basic need?
No they have made communication more and more difficult but still we have now got a certificate.
If we can be arsed to keep such a worthless certificate in amongst our collection of used toilet paper to show our appraisers this year it might allow us to continue to practise.
This certificate and the alleged "learning" it demonstrates shows that child protection is yet another tick box to be ticked but not sorted. It is completely worthless for none of the lessons we have learnt the hard way were ever mentioned.
Piss in the pants, odd request for repeat prescriptions, someone changing their address, a child not quite right in a surgery or a computer printout meticulously kept but no one noticed repeated injury after repeated injury at A&E in the first 6 weeks of a child's life have all led to abusers being outed over the years and no computer was harmed by us in doing so. In fact most of it was done without computers.
We must be illiterate up North not using computers to do such things.
Praise be to the Party for ensuring that by increasing the number of boxes needed to be ticked the GP on the ground will miss the obvious by doing so.
Keep looking at the computer and if you miss the child you will have merely done all that is asked of you by those in shiny offices and we have a certificate to prove we are up to date.
Until the next baby Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango . . .
And the certificate is completely useless just like the shiny computers in offices that don't talk to each other and it will sit in an appraisal folder gathering dust.

Saturday, 13 October 2012

Greedy GPs and how little NHS managers earn.

The above advert (click on image to enlarge) was found in a waste bin on hostile territory while waiting for a meeting with someone important called an NHS commissar who feels that all should wait at least an hour to see them they are so important hence our accidental discovery.

Have a look at the advert and look at the salaries. These are the people who are part of David Cameron's pledge to abolish NHS administration but are in fact part of the new super uber NHS administration.

Rumour has it that NHS Local Area Teams (LATs) together with Commissioning Support Units (CSUs) are part of an additional 3 layers of NHS redardocracy created under the Health and Social Care Act 2012 all leading to entities that could be privatized at some point by whichever Party of the Tripartite health alliance chooses to do so.

According to this article the average GP earns £ 104,000 and most will be far more qualified than any applicants for the above jobs. If you want more information on GP earnings you can read here. Only the director of insight will earn less than your average GP and remember that 50% of GPs will earn less than a director of open information.

At ND Central only two doctors earn more than those at the bottom of this advert and that is solely due to many more than 20+ years of seniority. Take that away and none of us earn that little but all of us are better qualified and what is more important is that we actually treat patients not bleed their tax dollars dry.

Praise be to the Party for ensuring that the pen pusher who treats not the patient shall be rewarded more than those that do despite being much less qualified.

Anyone know what a director of insight is? We as GPs lack such skills but can see behind the bull.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

When two is sometimes better than one.

Most people will have noticed that certain parts of the body are duplicated for example most of us have two arms, two legs, two kidneys, two lungs while other bits are not for example most people only have one heart. An obvious conclusion is that this might provide a degree of redundancy so that if part of you were injured for example a broken limb then the other part would allow you to function.

This process is applied to other intelligent systems for example in aircraft where instead of having one electrical system to ignite the cylinders there is a second in case the first fails. You will notice we say in intelligent systems.

A recent IT incident led us to conclude that NHS IT is not intelligent for it does not believe in redundancy although we suspect a lot of it could benefit from large scale redundancy.

Take the acquisition of a virus on a computer. The initial NHS IT response is to blame the user and make them feel guilty while the IT person ignores the fact that the local Soviet turns their firewalls off overnight. This is to allow their techies access to bugger up the system overnight so it never works in the morning. A legitimate call you might think apart from the fact that for 12 hours a day your system is exposed to any hacker or malcreant who wishes you harm.

Using their virus scanner is often a waste of time, for when you start it it often will say your virus definitions are from 2008 and you need to update but you cannot do so. The local IT gurus employ a system that periodically comes in the top 2 in PC magazines but it has additional enhanced benefits like if you change between screens on your clinical system it runs a virus scan which disables the machine until you disable the virus scanner something that no IT techie ever believes happens and they blame the user again.

Now the normal NHS IT techie will run their own version of the virus scanner and if that does not work simply replace the whole machine but when this occurs at home and it is your own hard earned dosh that is not working you might try a bit harder than an NHS techie.

The virus concerned came via NHS email and was not detected using the principal virus scanners on our valve driven super colossus of a computer hidden deep in the cellar of the infamous café Michelle. Various techniques were deployed by the Resistance techies to detect it but eventually a freebie spyware scanner detected and removed 4 instances of this particular virus from our super colossus which was restored to full functionality after just one scan by a freebie.

We sometimes have had to deploy the same methods to restore our work computers to functionality ourselves. So sometimes 2 is better than 1?

Praise be to the Party for ensuring that in computing we all pay over the odds for Party sponsored "protection" when sometimes a freebie will do better. Sounds a bit like the NHS and what is going on at the moment?